I realized last night that I miss being able to bathe in my blackness
To feel my community, pull me in and restore my faith in our people every day, knowing I am centered
I miss seeing Big Mama standing in the kitchen humming her spirituals as if Jesus might be on the way
I crave those conversations while on the porch solving all the problems in the world; I know we can
I miss being able to hold my Queen and know that she understands my blackness for real, not someone who tries to
I miss watching our babies grow, and their babies pulling on my pant leg wanting to play horsey
I want to know my wife is my equal without effort. Knowing that sometimes the most genuine thing spoken is with just a glance
Most of all I miss you, I am so tired of waking up, and when I open my eyes you fade from my view
These are the things I miss, things without effort where my blackness gets to thrive.